I had to share this with everyone. Funny!

[katsi]

It's raining her in Houston and today is the monthly meeting for the local Fiat \ Lancia club. We've had some emails going around about postponing the meeting due to rain. I wrote the following (HEB is a TX grocery store chain).

"I can’t make it next Tuesday. I can make it next Thursday. I was hoping that it was going to be a nice day today as I finally have my car ready to drive in. The weather channel said 60% chance of getting 1inch of rain this afternoon. So, I did not bring her in. I did however, have a really great trip down to HEB to pick up some milk last night. Funny, I can walk to the HEB from my house in about 8 minutes. But, it took over 30 minutes to drive there last night in the Fiat and another 30 minutes to get back home."

This is the reply I got.

That phenomena – the perceived stretching of time – is a symptom of FODS, or FIAT Owner’s Disorder Syndrome. This is a serious affliction that mostly effects males who are old enough to know better, who generally have the ability to be in denial regarding the cost of certain of their hobbies, and who have shown a distinct willingness to ignore family responsibilities in response to uncontrollable urges to 1) spend time with greasy hands 2) hours pouring through questionable websites that are visited by equally questionale people, 3) tolerate oil stains on garage floors and the smell of gasoline in their homes, and 4), be willing to accept a degree (often serious) of isolation and didain from their families, in particular, the wife.

FODS is, unfortunately, a progressive disease that is highly contagious among certain male (and some female) demographics. It has no known cure, and ends only upon the death of the host.

Has anyone else heard of any other symptoms of FODS?

Jeff

[dozy]

I have a jumpstart on y'all

What wife? What kids? My roommates? LOL

Whoever I end up with will know I will have FODS when she meets me .. so she better accept it .. not just tolerate it! Accept it ... And I will gladly take her on my 30 minute trips to HEB! (I will even enjoy being the passanger on the way back!! )

Yes, I am shooting for the stars and will not settle for less ... We are driving to the ceremony and reception in whatever vintage I/we own at that point!!

[gigi]

Thank you so much for the laughs!
Sunday morning, my spider, Gigi, drove off with her new papa...
I am in a grieving phase right now.
I discovered Sunday night on my usual grocery store run that we
didn't really need groceries. My husband says I would come up
with reasons just to drive her. He is RIGHT! The next canned food
drive at church will get more Campbell's than they could ever
distribute!

[mdrburchette]

Has Gigi found a new home? I couldn't live through that stress.

Now I have to worry about being inflicted by FODS. I think I may have a touch of it. I have a problem with greasy hands, Fiats in the garage, Fiats in the yard, Fiats in the shop and a special shop just for another Fiat. I have a 124 show car, a 124 daily driver, an almost perfect X19, a beautiful X19 racecar, and a Lemons 124 racecar. All my friends are guys with greasy hands and none of their wives are concerned if we spend hours on the phone together....they know the attraction is not to each other but to FIATS. Good grief, is a symptom a queasy stomach that can only be treated by taking a drive on a windy road?

[Foster48x]

H1N1, SARS, Bird Flu.... now I have to worry about FODS!?

I told my wife I had FODS. She wants to know if there's a vaccine for that?
I told her the only vaccine is a shot distributed by the well known pharmaceutical company Smirnoff.

[sptcoupe]

And Absolut, too.

I can tell you from my personal experience that Denise is part of that rare demographic of women who is fatally afflicted with FODS. She is so badly afflicted she actaully enjoys spending hours working on her dual IDFs, breathing in what would normally be fatal levels of engine fumes, with a cell phone stuck in her ear talking to another FODS victim about how to jet/tune them. And yes, FODS is so serious it should be mandated that we fully disclose the severity of it and all its symptoms to any unsuspecting future spouse/GF/BF.

So lets hear so more symptoms......

[gigi]

Thank you for your condolence, yes, Denise, Gigi has a new Daddy.
I cannot even begin to tell you just how much it sucks. You all have given me the only peace I've had since Sunday.
Yes, I knew the day was coming, probably for a while. I even prayed about it. Alot. God sent me an angel from far away with a trailer and cash. We spent a long while with each other before she left. Her new Papa is a really nice guy; knew
all the 'lingo' and is a sure 'Spider-Lover' (I could tell as we exchanged anecdotal stories on the test drive. You can
just tell, you know. I watched as he shifted her and steered her; he seemed to already knew all her 'quirks'. I saw that familiarity like he just found his long lost mama). I just know you all will give him the same encouragement, infinite knowledge and sustainence you give me. It is still pretty raw. All the neighbors have stopped over with pies etc.
Apparently, they were standing in their driveways watching the whole thing. I didn't even notice. My husband tried
everything to snap me out of it; guess it is just a process. I'm just so grateful you are here until I get my spunk back.

[sptcoupe]

Gigi is showing a classic, and possibly one of the most difficult symptoms of FODS. This subset of this ilnness will usually show signs of improvement with the initial passage of time, but it has been documented in any number of studies that within 6-12 months of being without a FIAT, the symptoms worsen, often mimicking a severe bi-polar type of behavior. The only cure for this FODS behavioral subset is to acquire yet another spider, which if course worsens family relations. This FODS is serious stuff, and Gigi will require our unabated support.

[tonyfromjersey]

I see this Spider sitting in the grass in front of a farmhouse every time I go on a long bike ride, it looks like a total basket case. It hasn't moved in years. There are two reasons I haven't stopped in to ask about it: 1: I am usually a sweat soaked mess by the time I pass this area and wouldn't want to scare the children and 2: My wife finally thinks that my current Spider is in pretty nice shape and is not afraid to be seen in it.

Most normal people would drive right past this hulk and think "he should drag that thing to a junkyard" but I look at it and think "I wonder what it needs, and wouldn't my Spider like a roommate (garage mate I suppose)?"

Then of course my neighbor has this Alfa Spider that hasn't run in a few years.....

[ga.spyder]

I have found a cure for the spousal rejection that comes along with the FODS virus.Buy them their own Spider! You will have half the garage space,twice the little issues to repair,double the insurance payments,and glaring looks when you take''her'' car out for a ride without asking!! Plus,they always know where to find you...in the garage or out for a little ''test ride''
Craig

[gigi]

This business of getting the spouse their own is exactly how our driveway got so darn full !
The flippin home-owners-assoc actually sent us nasty-grams regarding the vehicles parked
on the lawn, complete with pictures! I thought it was nice to get other pictures of all our
cars so being the smarty-pants that I am, I sent them a Thank-You note. In the end,
we did add more pavement. Good thing too. No more grass stains on my husband's cars!

[mdrburchette]

Home owner's association? Anyone that's been to my house knows we'd be kicked out. Thankfully I'm in the middle of 50 acres of woods so I have no nosey neighbors.

[sptcoupe]

So it would seem the recommended FODS cure appeasing the spouse by acquiring a spider just for her won't work. We need more ideas, as, remember, one of the major FODS symptoms is becoming estranged from the family.

Denise - another of the symptoms of somebody seriously afflicted with FODS (i.e., someone with as many cars as you) is that you forget that you can run, but you can't hide......

[ga.spyder]

Hey Denise...in your case it doesnt hurt that your only neighbors are your in laws and your daughter!

[NJFIAT1981]

Hi Gigi,
I was the fellow that talked to you from NJ that was making arraingements to drive down to see what would have been FIAT # 3. I did receive your email about the passing of your beloved Fiat to another sufferer of FODS. Yes I too suffer from FODS. The wife is starting to show symptoms. My daughter sat in my 81 and the first words out of her mouth were " This is so cool" Took her for a 20 minute spin and all she kept saying was "Don't ever sell this car"
We had to get another Fiat to keep the 81 company. Then came a parts car. The I started hanging out with other FODS victims. We should start a 10 step program. The meeting will start with:
Hi my name is (state your name) Everyone in the group will reply Hi (What ever fake name you have used) I have FODS. Or maybe I'm a Fiatenator or Fiataholic.
There is no cure. There is sometimes a short remission. Don't try and fight it. Just embrace it. You will be back- BWWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Evil laugh